Gibbon’s Laws 5: On Boundaries and Bounders

You love a lawbreaker who doesn’t break your laws

Charles Manson, mastermind behind the Manson Family cult, had a fiancé.

Want to know how old he is? 80. And she? 27. She fell for him when she was 16.

There are reports of similar infatuations attached to many serial killers in prisons around the world, those who oversee these demons routinely deal with heaps of amorous mail, from women who would never be permitted in a ski resort for fear of causing meltwater mudslides. It seems that the raw passion and energy that comes from bashing someone’s skull to bits has a magnetic pull on the opposite sex.

This works the other way, too. Consider the Femme Fatale – a timeless staple of drama and an icon of serpentine deception. The Homme Fatale is a much rarer breed (that doesn’t even have a wikipedia page!), interestingly; perhaps manipulation isn’t such a masculine trait?  It certainly isn’t when the image of the Politician comes to mind.

Perhaps we’d like to be the victim, and experience a heady few minutes of racing heartbeats before we meet our doom.

It’s always amusing to see some of these people when they get paid out, though. They harness the power of the void with all their might, anything necessary to avoid responsibility for their dizzy actions. That said, stay out of the blast radius, regardless of how dazzled you are by the show.

Incidentally, the weddings off; so the Manson example doesn’t quite work here, but the end of this story is still damn funny.

Gibbon’s Laws the Fourth: On our failure to govern ourselves…

You can tell the character of a nation by it’s preference in leaders.

Remember President Clinton?  The US Economy surged with him as the helmsman, driving the longest economic expansion of peacetime in US history; with this came heightened economic equality, something which seems to be evaporating without any fire under it these days.

How did this captain of prosperity get rewarded?  Impeachment.  For a Blowjob.

I’ve really been meaning to ask:  Are we really the kind of people, in the Western World, who’d sacrifice a fantastic environment to become financially prosperous and free for the sake of a pure, calvinist image?

Further, we seem unable to contain ourselves from voting against our interests, just to look morally upstanding.  Prohibiton was intended to slash crime, but it surged with mob bosses becoming celebrities, industrial tycoons flying into Cuba for parties with Bacardi, and generally vacuumed the life out of America with a state of passive-aggressive dissent becoming the norm.

Alright, enough baby’s first punditry, lets introduce some true erudition:

“Where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out.”

George Carlin, RIP

Gibbon’s Laws 3: On your personal Public Relations

Here’s a pretty simple one for you, maybe it applied to you, maybe not; regardless, I present Gibbon’s Law of Mockery and Reputation:

You can tell everything you need to know about someone’s/something’s reputation by how easy it is to make jokes about them.

Consider the nerds of Secondary School (Middle School in the US I believe), most of the garbage hurled at them is the kind of four-letter filler used during a torrent of verbal abuse – don’t bother with imagination in this case, the point is to communicate that their egos are as crushable as crisps, but it’s too much goddamn effort to see that shit through.

The Popular kids are another story; even the slightest, most lighthearted mockery can earn the scorn of hundreds, often with the most fanatical zeal – if you’ve ever wondered why they look so untouchable and often engage in the above behaviour with nerds, there you go.

Some cases are a little bizarre though, as in Apple.  Some will make the most base cracks against them and earn the wrath of a thousand cultists!  Each!  Small wonder forum outbursts between various Mass Movements and Apple vs PC fanboys are so entertaining.

This world is bizarre…

Gibbon’s Laws: A couple to get the ball rolling…

I had a similar flash of random “wit” to the one that inspired the “Psychoanalysis of Pizza” post from a few months back, and this is what happened:

Gibbon’s Law of Traffic

“Never let traffic know you intend to cross, cars smell fear”

Gibbon’s law of Public Relations

“99 goods and 1 bad are worth about as much as one another”